Posts Tagged ‘Dads’

Reminded Of What’s Most Important

Written by Jonathan on . Posted in Blog, Family Devo Tips, Praying Together

Bethany Reading to babiesWatching our children play when they don’t know we are there can be very entertaining and revealing. Sometimes it is convicting, sometimes it is a blessing.  It is always honest.  

Last Sunday, before revealing I was there to pick up our 3 year old daughter from the nursery, I saw her opening her Bible.   (Yes, her Bible.  The one she brought from home.)  

Sitting in the play cribs, she placed her Bible in front of some “babies” to read to them.  

It was one of those moments when I realized something we are doing is sticking.  

It reminded me that nothing is more important than our kids loving God’s Word.  Even at 3 years old, Bethany loves her Bible.  She often reminds us to grab our Bibles as we head out the door to church.  What a blessing she is!

Our summer schedule has been so out of whack between traveling, spontaneous get togethers, summer camps, etc., that I look forward to the routine of school starting again, so we can get back to regularly spending time in God’s Word as a family.

As school starts again, I boldly encourage and challenge you to spend time together in prayer and in God’s Word as a family.  Help your kids know, understand, and apply God’s Word, so when they are older, they “will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22.6).  So they will know where to turn for truth.  So they will know where to turn to hear God.

Modeling our relationship with God is so important, but Bethany didn’t learn to read her Bible to those baby dolls because she saw us read the Bible in our own devotions.  She learned to read the Bible to those babies because that’s what we do with her.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

Written by Jonathan on . Posted in Blog, Challenging, Dads, Encouragement, Moms

I wrote this on the Homes Devoted Facebook page (which you should “like” 🙂 if you haven’t yet.)
Many Christian parents put more effort, time, money into their children’s activities than into following God and then wonder why their children grow up and love everything but God.

Scott Linscott shared this article he wrote on the subject, called: Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us.  Scott, was my youth pastor.  The man who met me for breakfast once a week to answer my questions about faith and life.  Most importantly, he was a man of integrity and loved his family well, very well, which was something all of us youth group kids needed to see.

I am posting it here with his permission.  It might encourage you, challenge you or “tick you off” like it did many others.  Here it is:

NOTE: A lot of comments have focused on “church.” As one who believes the church is people and not a location or institution, I wish i could have communicated more clearly that this is about we parents living our faith. “Faith activities” and “community” was my intention. Those things come in numerous flavors. Following Jesus is not about sitting in a “church service” once a week. That said, my tongue-in-cheek approach is not intended to offend.

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith  

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

On a personal note: I know the struggle. My wife and I have lived the struggle firsthand. My son was recruited by a few D1 NCAA schools for baseball and opted instead to attend a small D3 school. My daughter was recruited to play field hockey by a couple D2 programs and ended up playing D3 when the scholarship offer was not enough to make her top school affordable. Both played in “premier” leagues. Both got A’s in high school though we often told them not to stress out too much over it. Both are in honor societies in college and my son now has offers from UNC, Univ. of Wisconsin, Johns Hopkins and Weil Cornell for a Phd in Pharmacology. Neither ever missed a youth group retreat, conference or mission trip because of their sports or academic commitments. Both missed a game or two to attend faith-based activities. Both missed school for family vacations. Both held down part-time jobs in high school and learned to give employers advance notice for upcoming retreats. My son often changed into his baseball uniform at church to arrive in the third inning of Sunday games. Robin and I did all we could to make sure they connected in student ministry even when it meant driving straight from a tournament to a music festival at midnight so that they would not miss out. It was that important to us. My youngest, a culinary student, lost a restaurant job because he went on a mission trip. That’s fine. Thankfully, all 3 have strong faith walks today. That is due only to God’s grace. But, I do believe that our efforts and example helped them long for a community-based faith.

Want to add your own to the list? Comment below.  Let’s continue to sharpen one another.

To see Scott’s original post, click here.

Our Greatest Goal as Parents

Written by Jonathan on . Posted in Blog, Challenging, Dads, Encouragement, Moms

new greatest goalI remember reminding frustrated youth leaders, and members of our congregation, that the students in youth group who were not believers can’t be expected to bear the fruit of one who knows the Lord.  But they insisted they shouldn’t act the way they do. Following Christ isn’t about behavioral modification.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit…” John 15:5

What about our own children?  Behavioral modification will not produce the fruit a parent truly desires for their child.  It is all too easy (for me too) to fall into the trap of focusing too much on bad behavior (“that wasn’t nice.” “Don’t do that!” “You can do better!”  “You forgot?”)  As parents with a Kingdom vision, our concern is not that they act right.  Our vision is much grander and deeper.  Our #1 mission is that our children join Jesus.  I’ve seen lots and lots of teens do all the right things and then they go off to college and they take a turn for the worse.

We have to remember, Jesus invited us to join Him.  Chuck Bomar, in his new book, Losing Your Religion, states, “The good news Jesus offered was that He invites us into His life. Not vice versa”.   Zacchaeus was a changed man because he responded to Jesus’ invitation.  Jesus said to the disciples, ‘Come and follow me.'”

Our children will not live out a faith in Christ because they attend children’s church every Sunday, attend mission trips, and are a good kid.  They will only grow up and leave the roost following Jesus with all their heart, soul, strength and mind if they accept the invitation to be a part of His life.  There is a difference between inviting Jesus into our life, our plans, our desires and accepting the invitation to join His life, His plans, His desires.

Our greatest goal as parents is to help our children join Jesus.

How are you leading your children to know, love and follow Jesus?

Do they see the Christian life as a bunch rules to follow or an adventure?  What adventures have your family been on?

Love God with everything. Love your kids.  Lead them to the heart of the Father. And with His grace, they will love Him too.

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